Caring for Someone with Special Needs

Caring for a child, young person, or adult with special needs is an act of deep love and commitment. But it’s also a journey that can strain your emotional reserves. Managing stress and prioritising your own wellbeing isn’t selfish - it’s essential for both you and the person you care for.

Here's a little help with ways you can nurture yourself while maintaining your dedication:

- 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭: isolation is common among parents and carers, but reaching out - whether to other carers, professionals, or support groups - can transform your experience. When you connect with others who’ve faced similar struggles:

𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝;

𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝;

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞;

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬.

Whether it’s joining local meet-ups or chatting at school pick-up and drop-off, don’t hesitate to seek connection. Sometimes the greatest comfort comes from someone saying, “𝘔𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰.” I’ve personally witnessed beautiful friendships blossom among parents and carers of children, and committed myself to fostering these friendships, so whenever I can, I connect people together. In return, I often receive very meaningful feedback. Here’s one for you, in the hope that it will inspire many:

"𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘢𝘩. 𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘩. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘺. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘢𝘩 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥 - 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘞𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭";

- 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞: building self-care into your day can really make a difference for the better. Even tiny acts count:

𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐞𝐚 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐭, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬;

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤, 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐞;

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭;

𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰, 𝐨𝐫 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

These moments, however small, help recharge your emotional batteries and prepare you for the demands ahead;

- 𝐒𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: setting boundaries is a vital step and allows you to be mindful of your limits - what you can take and what you can't at various moments in life. Knowing this, it's an act of great self-care toward yourself and the people around you.

How to establish and uphold your boundaries:

𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 “𝐧𝐨” 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥-𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠;

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮;

𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐩, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩;

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐞.

Choose to “𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘯” those who stand by you with genuine help, offer perspective, and encourage you to seek out the positives or find transformative meaning in the challenges you're facing. Let go, as much as possible, of people and situations that add to your stress without support;

- 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬: bonding over shared activities makes daily life less about challenges and more about joy. Whether it’s playing a favourite game, cooking together, listening to music, have a laugh, or going for a walk, make time for activities you and the person you're supporting both enjoy. These simple pleasures boost connection and happiness and help reduce stress for both of you;

- 𝐁𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 - 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫: it’s easy to look around and feel you fall short, but remember: you don’t see what happens behind closed doors. Your journey and struggles are unique, and there’s strength in acknowledging that. Focus on what you can control and celebrate your own resilience. Showing up every day, even when it’s hard, is something to be proud of;

- 𝐓𝐫𝐲 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐍𝐞𝐰: try something new - a gentle breathing exercise, progressive muscle relaxation (softening your muscles from your head to your toes), or visualising a peaceful scene. Movement is a powerful stress-buster. Whether it’s gentle stretching, a brisk walk, or dancing in your kitchen, any movement will help. Prioritise sleep, too - even if it’s hard to get enough. Don’t hesitate to ask a friend to take over some chores or cover for a nap. Sometimes, a short rest can do wonders.

Be open to experimenting; the right strategy to find your calm might surprise you.

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

You're already doing something extraordinary. Prioritising your own wellbeing isn’t just good for you — it’s a gift to the person you care for. Every small step you take to nurture yourself ripples outward, creating a more resilient and joyful environment for everyone involved. No two situations are the same, and the struggle is real, but solutions are out there. Sometimes, thinking creatively about your options makes all the difference. Try to take a small step in the direction of your wants and needs, and things will start to happen as the right people come into your life when you move with clarity and a steady pace. It’s never a matter of quick fixes or solutions, but in the long run, a much more rewarding path.

If things are great, seek that connection to celebrate; if things are not great, seek that connection to lift you up and take you somewhere better in your mind and heart.

Who and what has made a positive impact on your day?

How do you find your calm?